Rita Linke Memorial Page

My Mum was born, Rita Wolfberg in Leeds on August 28th 1933 to Samuel and Bertha Wolfberg. She was the middle sister. Shirley was the oldest and still alive and lives in Essex and Brenda was her younger sister who lives in Florida.
She was loved by many and touched many lives over 90 years and I can proudly say that my Mum was always so good to me. She would do anything for me to protect me and gave me the love, confidence and support I needed and has always been a big part of my life.
We had a very special relationship. Nothing was hidden, nothing was unsaid and we were there for each other at all times in a healthy way as she wanted the best for me and vice-versa.
She had a tough upbringing and lived in Harehills and went to Roundhay School. She was married on June 6th 1953 to Derek Linke a salesman who moved from Sunderland to Leeds. My Mum always said that she was too young to get married (engaged at 19) but that was the thing in those days and they celebrated 70 years of marriage last year in Leeds with a small family gathering and some close friends.
Derek and Rita moved around based on my Dad’s developing retail menswear career and lived in Sheffield, Birmingham and Manchester
Beverley was born in June 1959 in Sheffield. She was called Denise but as she was born deaf she became Beverley as easier to pronounce and Beverley was her middle name. I arrived in July 1965 and was born in Manchester. My parents moved to Leeds in 1970 and my Dad’s career was flourishing at the time. We had many amazing family holidays and moved from Moreland Drive to Sandmoor Avenue before my Dad sold that house in 1992 and moving to Sandmoor Mews
My Mum was totally devoted to Beverley before I was born to help her as best she could whilst my Dad made it his role to be “the provider.” Mum often said that they were not ready to have another child, but were advised to do so and I soon arrived. In hindsight she wished that she had not stopped at two children. We became a family of four and whilst my parents did argue they both always put their children first.
Beverley and her husband, David were married in 1982 and lived in the Primleys as my parents wanted them to be close to them.
I was given encouragement and lots of support academically to go to university which was something both my parents wanted for me. My Mum knew she would miss me but was always proud of me even though she worried about me. If you love someone, you set them free as the song goes.
Mum became a grandmother to James in 1986 from Beverley, who married David in 1982 and then had a very long wait for another grandchild until Oliver was born in 2006 from Kate and I.
My Mum became a “second Mum” to James and he is going to follow me with his own tribute. James came back from LA in June and has seen my Mum and Dad every day and been there for them both and his own parents during a very tough period for my Mum.
My Mum was always a devoted Mum to Beverley and was always trying to encourage her talent. Beverley made her so proud with her degree in art and she was still selling Beverley’s greeting cards until recently and art on occasions. She also loved Bev’s husband David so much. Mum was so grateful for his caring nature and all he would do for everyone, especially taking her anywhere in his car.
So here is my tribute to the best Mum who read me bed-time stories, complained to other parents when I was badly treated or got into the odd fight and found it harder than most do, when their child left home.
She was there in my life every step of the way but wanted me to be independent and to have a great life. Her role was all about “giving”. She never put herself first.
She wanted nothing from me, no obligations to see her or speak to her but I always kept in touch even when I travelled. She never expected anything from me and never expressed disappointment. She never let me down. She backed me to the hilt even when I resigned my job to go travelling at 27 years old. She has never told me “I should have done this” or “should have done that” but would give me her opinion.
Once I decided “that was it”. We rarely, if ever, argued. We had the same values. She knew I was sports mad but never tried to stop me going anywhere or complained and wanted me to enjoy myself. She was immensely proud of me and I was never criticised. I would give her advice but we never fell out if we had a difference of opinion, especially on family matters.
Nothing or no one would get between us to talk to each other except her hearing loss as she got older which was frustrating to many but when my phone rung I heard everything whilst she didn’t. I was there for her so she could offload and tell me what was going on particularly in the last ten years.
I am so happy that she has loved my wife, Kate throughout, especially after my illness. She had so much empathy for Noah who I met at three years old and is profoundly autistic. Mum knew it was a big commitment and there would be challenges ahead she saw how much we loved each other and anyone that loves “My Gary” is good enough for her.
She thought my step-daughter, Ellie was perfect in every way and looked like a film star and got on so well with Kate’s Mum and Dad – Carole and Adrian. Mum would still make regular trips to London, even on her own on the National Express coaches to Golders Green.
She was so happy when Ollie was born. She was so proud of him and how he has turned out as he waits for his A Level Results and his 18th birthday next month. Mum gave me advice to ”enjoy Ollie” and I have taken it on board and been a different father since as he shows he wants to be his own person and independent.
Kate and Ollie were here last week and saw my Mum and had quality time with her and I am grateful for that. One of the best days for her was Ollie’s Barmitzvah in 2019 which she loved so much and such a happy occasion that she deserved as much as anyone and he did so well on the day.
I have not been a worry to my Mum except she was devastated when I was ill in 2016. Thank g-d she had never ever had to bury her kids or grand-children as she would never have got over it.
Mum, thank you for everything. You have left many good friends behind whilst you and Dad continued on into your nineties and you became a carer for Dad in the last 18 months. You always looked after him in terms of being a “housewife” in the old -fashioned way but maintained your independence and joy of life to go out and about until you became seriously ill yourself.
I want to thank Pat Folk for being “almost family”. My Mum had so many visitors over the last 2 months and thank you to all of them because she knew people loved her and her sense of humour and her drive to carry on going out and about and keep occupied. Even if she was on her own she would talk to people and take an interest in lives. She loved Israel and the royals, going to the cinema and the theatre and had great taste in clothes and fashion and liked a bargain. She was driving until she got ill and loved her car.
Thank to everyone that took care of her at St James’s Hospital and Alderbrook Nursing Home. She did not want to be a burden to anyone, especially to me but I kept turning up to be with her and she was so grateful to me when she left hospital on June 27th although she did want to go home which she loved.
My Mum and I and the family had some lovely moments at Alderbrook even towards the end with family and friends but in her words she just wanted to close her eyes and not wake up once she knew about her illness and the potential impact on her body.
My Mum and I had no regrets. We said everything we wanted to say to each other. She understood her illness and knew something was going to get her. She wanted to set us all free because she never ever put herself first.
My Mum was beautiful.